Conflict Resolution : Pushing Through Tempests in Teapots

Shit happens.  People can be obnoxious, obscure, obstreperous, obtuse, oblivious and pretty much any form of obstructionist you can imagine.  And at some point, whoever you are, you’re going to find yourself perching awkwardly, and possibly innocently, in the middle of a firestorm of ‘he said, she said, blah blah blah.’

So what do you do when you find yourself caught up in a conflict?

Oh I hate confrontations !  That’s most people.  So, you’re just going to internalize?  You know how that goes …….  The mind has the most uncanny ability to build monstrous, moaning mountains out of that, potentially inadvertently, kicked up molehill.  Before you know it you’ve spent a sleepless night replaying scenarios and beating yourself and your perceived attacker to pulp.  And in the morning, nothings changed.  You’re still the ‘victim’ . At least that’s what you’ve convinced yourself, and will continue to do so until you decide to do something about it.

You’re mad?  Angry?  Someone has treated you unfairly?

You’ve got to take action.

1.  Either take the path of the peaceful warrior :

• I accept the situation.
• I accept my role in the situation.
• I choose to move on and consciously step away from the drama.
• I choose to use what I learned from this mess to not make the same mistakes again.
• This is a lesson in human nature for which I am grateful.
• I learn, release and move forward with greater clarity.

2.  Or take the path of the warrior warrior :

• Say something.
• Stand up for yourself.
• If you want something (an apology, clarity, a seat at the table) demand it.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for something.  Most of the time people will give it to you if you ask.

Sit down for a cup of tea with the adversary (a little sugar and not too much stirring) and talk.  In the immortal words of Monty Python : make tea not war.  Chances are, all it is, is a tempest in a teapot.