This is Episode 4. We continue stumbling around in the dark with Poodle.
You stumbling around
in the dark – it frustrates me
Me not the blind one.
As discussed at some length in the last episode it is human nature to remember the good old days. With Poodle we remember the hardships – but with love and affection and some healthy doses of relief that we made such progress, earned his trust, gave him comfort and warmth and daily lunches.
So often in my own life I have been so frustrated when things don’t work out the way I want them to. I wanted this old blind dog who had never set eyes on me or my home to just blend magnificently in, to find his way around, to snuggle appreciatively next to me on the couch.
Having an old dog – blind or not – makes you empathize more – or at least it should.
Put yourself in their place. What you think might be best may well not be a great option for them.
For Poodle I thought it would be comfortable and snuggly to curl up on the couch with me.
It turned out for Poodle that his arthritic limbs and curved spine weren’t prone to snuggling. In fact – it was difficult for Poodle to lie down without help at all. In later years when Poodle had relaxed more in our company and his body was that much more tired I did enjoy the companionship of Poodle lying next to me on the couch, but it was solely on his terms, never longer than 10 minutes and the moment he stirred and tried to stand up I would have to pick him up and put him on solid, familiar ground.
In times of frustration when the world isn’t just falling into place to please me – I try to remember the words of Eckhart Tolle that I wrote and laminated on a piece of paper attached to the door into the garage years ago.
“To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them – while they last. All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.”
Without truly understanding exactly what those words mean – on some level they bring me down a notch. I am encouraged to let it be, let life work itself out on its own. And often it does just that.
Like Poodle stumbling around in the dark.
Aren’t we all?
Just trying to work it out.
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